Monday, June 30, 2008

Germany 0 – 1 Spain
It’s not been Michael Ballack’s year has it? Pipped for the Premiership title, pipped for the Carling Cup, pipped for the Champions League, and he was even pipped by Drogba for taking that free-kick in front of all those people.
Last night he was pipped for the European Championship 2008 and when he tried the one thing that was left, he still didn’t quite get close to the master Zidane. Ballack swore, argued, spoiled, fouled, was in the face of the referee and linesmen and even tried the ZZ kiss. Sadly for him he came off second-best even in this, and although he was sent from the pitch as a result, this was only because he had made a mess of his shirt and they thought his mother wouldn’t want him to be seen out in it. I suppose he could point to the fact that he was “sent off” twice to ZZ’s one but like the German team as a whole, when it came down to it, he didn’t quite cut it.
But if Ballack suffered, that was as nothing compared with how Löw must have felt when he realised that he would have to pick Mertesacker & Metzelder again and pretty early into the match he must have wished he was again up in the coporate box puffing away out of sight. M&M had the speed and agility of a couple of blue whales and I suspect that even Shamu can pass a football more accurately. When Herr Löw realised that Klose up front, a man for whom the tag “journeyman” couldn’t have been more apt had it been writ broad across his shoulder, was living down to his ability, he must have cried inside as he glanced behind him to the bench and saw Gomez and Kuranyi. The latter at least had cool facial hair and so he duly got the nod only to think he had been picked for the Spaniards, so much time did he spend in his own territory. No wonder the manager was on his knees for much of the match.
All of which is not to take anything away from a Spanish team who were to good on the night, as they had been too good for the last few weeks. Rather it is more to delay the time when I have to retract all the quips about early taxis, choking, etc, etc which has been my stock in trade since these blogs began. Spain flattered and then deceived only in as much as the kept their beautiful football going right to the end. If there was an injustice last night then it was that the final scoreline was so close and I feel for those predictors who assumed, rightly that they would score more. They deserved to.
So Gary Lineker will have to get his bods to think of another smirking line; “Football’s a simple game,” he once said, “22 men kick a ball around for 90 minutes and then the Germans win” is no longer apt and Germany, England, Italy and France will have to take note.

In the title chase that matters, Rana really should have gone with his heart rather than his head as he came up short to long-time leader and eventual winner Liam. Liam continues the run of incoming managers winning the predict-a-score competition after DaveR won the last Euros. Ok a run of two is as much of a run as Germany managed in the tournament, but it’s a run nonetheless and one that England wish they could achieve. So congratulations to Liam and a bottle of something will find it’s way to you soonish.
At the bottom, Terry Ann and Nick all failed to beat Norm but at least they had the excuse that they didn’t get their predictions in. Gail, Jayne, Les, MikeB, Butch, Uwe and Janet had no such excuse and I can give them the website of a good random number generator for next time if they want to ask me.
Janet reverted to type this time around and now holds the Cupid record for coming bottom. Again a run of two is not much but worth a mention nonetheless and the traditional wooden spoon will be presented to you, soonish.

So that the lot. It’s over and while many thought it would be impossible to enjoy a tournament without the English, I’ve enjoyed it and wonder if the two are connected. I’ve also enjoyed writing the blog and watching you all struggle to get any points in what was unpredictably, as many of you found out, an unpredictable tournament.

Thanks for entering and contributing to such a good cause. And thanks for reading.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Russia 0 – 3 Spain
The team of, now perennial choker, Guus Hiddink came out last night with all the conviction of a British tennis player with a wildcard at Wimbledon and never looked liked they would upset the Spanish.
While the Spanish looked pretty, too many of the Russian players who lit up Basel last Saturday simply didn’t survive the knock-up and the reason why was just as unfathomable as to why Fabregas isn’t a tennis-shoe-in to start for the Spanish. He made it all look too easy and had the swagger that comes to many of Wenger’s lads just before they leave for Barcelona and then Major League Soccer a year later.

In Italy’s absence, Iniesta is becoming my Camoranesi, though he is by far a better player. But he spent a lot of last night on his bum, pleading for a free-kick, with those cold empty eyes staring from his clammy, pallid face, after going down easier than Monica Lewinski. Don’t like him, and his mum should tell him to get out in the sun more and to eat more greens.

Not a single one of you got the score right last night and not many even got the result, which perhaps reflects the truth that this Spanish campaign is lasting longer than Bogdanovic’s on court 999, or to put it another, though comparable, way, longer than it takes to suck a wine gum, and is tempting you to start thinking, “could this be their chance, is this their year?”. But despite the evidence of the semi-finals to the contrary, you have to think that the match point will go to Germany on Sunday, don’t you? Not because the Spanish aren’t the better team, they are, but because they are, well . . . Spain, and Germany are Germany and the natural order of play will out.
Not that I want to influence your predictions, though god knows you need the help. However, if I was any good at predictions then I would have entered wouldn’t I.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Germany 3 – 2 Turkey
On a night when the heavens were disturbed, there were many in the German crowd last night who could not watch and even Thunor, German god of thunder, was, one supposed, so embarrassed about what was being played out in front of him that he caused the world’s tv feed to be cut, so that the rest of us could not watch either. In keeping with a pretty poor German display though, he cut it off just as the Germans scored their second.

But while Thunor was throwing his lightening bolts out of his pram, you had to think Fréa had a hand in the German display. While mainly a fertility kind of god he does dabble in conflict by all accounts, but in a defensive rather than offensive way, after all one doesn’t like to create strife and havoc which can destroy the chance of peace and abundance. Pretty obvious from last night then that old Fréa had a hand in the German tactics – there was a distinct lack of anything in the way of offence and not much in defence to cause strife and havoc to the Turkish team.

The Turks were the better side throughout but someone or something must have annoyed them as they woke yesterday morning as, their proverb has it “Ofke ile kalkan zararla oturur” he who gets up in anger, sits down with a loss. Mind you another of their proverbs says “an ass does not appreciate fruit compote”, which, however true, kind of devalues the others.

The Germans did what the Germans are ordained to do and reached the final, where you hope that the team who did for Portugal return. The Turks return home still searching for the answers; how did we lose that? and why do we keep feeding that bloody donkey compote when he obviously can’t stand it. What a waste.

Only Liam made the necessary sacrifices although a number of you got the result. Did I mention that Rana was in the lead. Oh wait a minute he’s not as he was pointless last night, Liam is.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Croatia 1 – 1 Turkey (0 - 0 @ 90)
Holland 1 – 3 Russia (1 – 1)
Spain 0 – 0 (0 – 0)


With one exception there were as few points gained in the predict-a-score quarter-finals as there were highlights in last night’s game. A good thing for the PAS as it holds the interest, which is something that could hardly be said for the latter.
There may have been 11 men in white shirts running around on a field in Vienna last night, but whether they had come to play football is an argument that even the Italians, who can after all start one in a phone box, would find difficult to sustain. While Shearer wondered whether they had played for penalties from the first whistle, we all might be forgiven for thinking that when we their squad was first selected. An Italian team without a decent striker is no Italian squad and how they must be looking back on the salade verdi days of Del Piero, Schillacci, Vieri, Bettega, Rossi, Vialli and of course Baggio, the list goes on. Luca Toni was as likely to join that list as Swiss Tony was likely to get lucky in a nightclub.
Spain tried hard but walking amongst giants was never going to be easy for them as the Italians acted like new neighbours with a secret to hide and stayed very much indoors with the curtains drawn.
The Russians by contrast have ripped away the blinds, thrown open the windows and shouted “dobroye utro, dobroye utro” to the dawn of perhaps a new footballing age. They caught Holland on Saturday in the same way that Van Basten’s men caught Italy and France during the group phase but they have done it when it matters. A few missed chances caused one to think that they would pay the penalty later in the game as the Dutch master’s traditional superiority would win out, but it just didn’t in what was easily the best of the quarter-final matches
A similar turgid 90 minutes was played out on Friday night as Croatia and Turkey struggled to adjust to the rarified atmosphere of a tournament’s knockout stages, but credit to Turkey who, apart from an eager opening to the game were second best to Bilic’s boys for the rest of regulation time, as they found some puff in extra-time. That they found the resolve to equalize what must have been a sickening goal in the last minutes meant that they just about deserved to prevail in the penalty lottery. It was a sad end for a Croatia team for whom this seemed a game too far.


So we have Germany v Turkey, where Hull-target Kazim Kazim wants to “do it for England” and beat Germany for us, cheers Colin, and Russia v Spain which should be a cracker.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Portugal 2 – 3 Germany
Last night was a tale of missed-placed passes, missed-timed tackles and missed directed shots; a general lack of awareness, fitness and youth. I’m not talking about Deco, Simao, Gomes, Ferrreira, Carvalho you understand, this was the 5-a-side at Honywood School Sports Hall in Coggeshall that I struggled through for an hour and a bit, though it might also apply. I only mention it as this meant I was only able to see the second-half of what my 10 year-old said was a decent enough match, and it is on his opinion that some of this relies.
So last night’s game was “great”, the referee “doesn’t like Ronaldo, does he”, “likes his cards”, “it was a penalty to Portugal”, “a push on the Mr Man at the back for Portugal” and “how did the ref not see that stamp/push/foul?” Why didn’t “the goalie run faster for that/get in the box cos they need to score don’t they”. “Dad, today at school there was a fight and it took three of us to pull him off the other one and I don’t know why they were fighting cos he didn’t do anything and I still haven’t got my ball back that went over the fence into the hedge in the garden”. This last might not have been about the game but I had my head down scribbling notes as fast as he was talking so forgive me if some of this is jumbled.
From what I saw the Germans did what the Germans do when it comes down to the serious stages of a tournament. The Dutch may also rue the day they decided to be honest and reprieve Italy, as they too may not be pretty but can be effective in closing out games.
That’s not to say that Germany didn’t play football last night because they did, the first goal was the sort of pass and move attack that every youth coach tries to describe to his boys, made flesh. Two or three quick one-twos, a low hard bending cross and the striker cutting in front of defender and goalie to get anything on it and into the back of the net. The two free-kicks, poor-defending apart, were well executed and job done. Alan Green said that the game showed “only a fool writes Germany off” and I can only imagine therefore that he’d napped Portugal before the start.
The game was notable also for perhaps a poor career decision by Ballack. Having a good game in front of your new boss is not so bad, but knocking him out of his last international competition is bound to have you collecting balls, bibs and cones after training for a year I suspect.
So Germany got through to their first Euro semi-final since that tournament about which we do not speak, to meet the winner of tonight’s game between Croatia and Turkey.
In the main, hearts ruled minds as only two of you got any points last night, while Ann did herself no favours by predicting a 5 – 5 result!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Greece 1 – 2 Spain
Russia 2 – 0 Sweden


You knew that Sweden were clutching at straws when they claimed destiny would take them to the final on the 50th anniversary of their appearance in a World Cup final. Not the anniversary of their winning, but of their appearance in the final where, as hosts, they were beaten 2 – 5 by Brazil with a brace by a 17yo Pele.
Russia, with the youngest squad, didn’t need Pele to overcome Sweden, with the oldest, last night though it’s a entertaining thought that even now the Brazilian might have waltzed through the disorganised Swedish back four and converted some of the chances the Russians spurned last night.
It was all too easy for them and, what with Croatia’s performances in the last two weeks, allows this correspondent to clutch at his own straw by thinking that it was perhaps not that much of a disgrace to have come third in that qualifying group.
So now we are down to the nitty-gritty of knockout football, full of drama, shout-outs, tears and furrowed-brows as you attempt to make sense of the new rules for the predict-a-score – look out for the mail in your inbox today which needs to get back into mine before 19:45 tonight.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Netherlands 2 – 0 Romania
France 0 – 2 Italy


So no stitch-up from the Dutch then and a French team tied up in knots was the story of the night. I’m guessing that the Dutch, using evidence from the first couple of matches, reckoned they’d rather play Italy or France in the semis, either that or they just couldn’t help themselves, flushed as they appear to be with their unaccustomed unity. But you can’t help feeling that tired & old-fashioned as the Italian team look, they may well come back and bite the Dutch on their bright orange bums should they get past Spain on Sunday.
What am I saying! of course they’ll get past Spain on Sunday because as we know at this stage of tournaments there’s ne’er a plane that leaves the ground and the Spanish not on it, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, bet soon or you’ll regret it.
Surprising as the Dutch reinvention is, the demolition of the French team is more so. And while not many may agree with me I feel it is rather sad. The guile and subtlety of Henry, the majesty of Makelele, and latterly the freshness of Benzema and Ribery pointed to an exciting blend of youth and experience that should have been too lively for the group of death. To see them, therefore in such disarray was a huge disappointment. . . . Who am I trying to kid, it was great to see the former Arse apply his famed finishing at the wrong end and seal a tournament performance that even England haven’t witnessed for many a year. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was the Italians who ultimately benefitted, it would have been perfect.
But an Italian match wouldn’t be an Italian match without one of their number going down like a soap actor in an audition for a remake of Zulu; I didn’t catch the attore’s name last night but after an innocuous bump from behind, he sank to his knees with a cry, slowly and for full effect spread his arms wide before clutching his back to grab the spear that had, seconds earlier been plunged fatally into him. But, as ever when the physio yelled “Cut. That’s a wrap” he was up and about with “thank you darlings” being sprayed hither and thither, picking up imaginary bouquets from the turf. That’s entertainment.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Poland 0-1 Croatia
Austria 0-1 Germany
While Portugal’s reserves couldn’t thwack the holey-cheesemakers, Croatia’s made short work of Poland last night. Poland couldn’t crack a side making nine changes and were undone by a guy who has had two kidney transplants in last year, plays with a plastic girdle and has been warned that he is risking his life by playing footy. Poland, along with Greece should be consigned to EuroRoom101 for a decade or two.
Bilic once again kicked very ball and celebrated like it was the final when the whistle was blown and more power to his elbow (much in evidence at UP during his years there).
On the other channel, Austria’s chances of progressing at the expense of Germany were being talked up, but then the whistle went and the game began. They may have made more of a fist of their tournament than the Swiss, and they may have dried the ink of those who signed a petition prior to the competition asking for the team to be withdrawn, but they were no match for a German side who were just not going to lose on the night. Austria scurried around and got in good positions but too many misplaced passes and misunderstandings mean that there was never likely to be any upset here. The moments of note of the evening therefore were an altercation between the respective coaches and Ballack’s experession; the former, as Wenger puts it, I didn’t see (but then I was in a car at the time) and the latter I had the misfortune to see in Super-Slo-Mo during a lull in the second-half and unfortunately for me (and for you now) immediately brought to mind Friend Chandler’s “sex-face”.
So to the Beeb’s disappointment and ITV’s glee after the CZE/TUR game the previous evening there was to be no drama. Tonight on the other hand could see plenty of “Red Ross” moments as the Dutch can choose to fix their match with Romania to eliminate both France and Italy who will no doubt still kick and dive their way around the pitch despite their being every chance that it won’t matter a bit.

Colin picked up another four points and is now clear at the top from Liam and Mike B who also picked 4. After a few days on top Jayne drops fourth having picked up only a solitary point. At the bottom the Steve’s are pulling clear of Mike and Norm.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Italy 1-1- Romania
Netherlands 4-1 France
Sweden 1-2 Spain
Greece 0-1 Russia
Switzerland 2-0 Portugal
Turkey 3-2 Czech Republic


If it wasn’t for the two unanswered goals glowing on the scoreboard, Czech Republic must have thought it wasn’t going to be their day. Hit the post, stonewall penalty (according to Alan Green), what more did they have to do? Well Koller did get the keeper sent off which was a stroke of luck, but of course by that time it was apparent that it wasn’t their day, as Turkey had lit up three unanswered goals. Heartbreak for their fans but as ever not undeserved as I’m sure they had been taunting their Turkish counterparts for 87 minutes of this enthralling match. It will be interesting in the coming days to find out just what Koller said to Demirel, but it would be an act of hypocrisy if it had anything to do with strength or masculinity, such was the ease with which the tall lad toppled – I’ve seen stronger coffee in Macdonalds. This match also allowed the tabloid-chewing ITV commentator (and this time it was Jon Champion who, coming from the beeb originally, sould have know better) to trot out the Corny Cliché of the Match that surely they must spend months beforehand in meetings coming up with, “bouncing Czechs” when they moved 2 clear.

So Turkey prevailed and will face Germany or Austria, with a win or a draw good enough for the former but a loss good enough for the latter. But let’s face it that can’t happen can it?
Of course it can’t, but then who would have thought that the lads from the land of clogs and coffee shops (and very friendly girls in the capital) would do what they did to the French (entirely different shops and girls in my experience)?
Not only did this result see the Dutch through as group-winners, it also, sadly or humorously depending on how the win takes you) allows the Dutch, pretty much to dictate who is pulled along with them into the quarter-finals; a win for them would open the door for the winner of the France V Italy game, but losing would eliminate both. As coach of Coggeshall’s under-9’s I would tell them, if they asked “would you play your strongest team and go for the win?”, that of course I would play my strongest team and go for the win because that is the right-thing to do; if I was coach of the under-13 I would say “Nooo, winning the tournament is my job”; if I was coach of the Under-18’s I would say “F%*K NO!” But would you do and what do you think MVB will do? France were my tip to win but even so there is a great deal of me that wants the stitch up. Imagine our press if England were in the same boat!!
Italy were indebted to Buffon to spare their blushes, but come 10pm tomorrow night, that save might have been enough only to allow them the Dutch Conspiracy excuse rather than the Italy Really Played Some Crap You Know excuse.
Spain’s Squeaky-Bum match came early in the tournament, when by tradition it should have come in the knockout rounds, so some may read into this that it really is their time. But they didn’t lose so maybe there’s still time.
Greece predictably and thankfully were eliminated early and paid the price for their tactics which had the “ah bless” factor four years ago but the “aw bugger-off” this time around.
Oh and the Swiss beat Portugal Reserves 2-0 to give them false hope for the World Cup qualifiers, though as they only have to beat Greece and Israel in that group maybe there is hope after all.

So on to the Predict-A-Score and there was a five-point-haul, a few four-pointers and a few three pointers but this a rum do when there were 18 points on offer, however I guess there were three matches which you would have had no right to predict. Only Liam, Les and Butch thought that Italy would draw with Romania, and while a few more of you Foresaw Holland beating France none had them scoring four in the process. It won’t surprise you that nobody with any footy knowledge thought that Switzerland would beat Portugal; only Butch saw that coming.
As a result of the weekend’s action Colin now joins Jayne atop the league while Butch’s point allowed him to keep pace with Janet, just a point clear of Golfer MikeD, randomly generated results Norm and Football Club Secretary SteveD at the bottom.

Friday, June 13, 2008


Croatia 2 – 1 Germany
Austria 1 – 1 Poland

Well what do you expect from a West Ham alumni? I’ve always liked Slaven Bilic, from his days kicking the bums of the Hammer’s opponents, right up to ridding us of the cheesy-grinned, umbrella-toting Yorkshire idiot. That he had to eliminate England from this tournament to execute the latter task was, in this correspondent’s opinion, a small price to pay. His Croatia team made Germany look very ordinary last night and could have been more convincing winners than the eventual scoreline suggests. Not only that but he obviously had fun doing it; pacing up and down and gesturing constantly as if moving pieces around a Subbuteo pitch, he was in constant motion and celebrated each goal as if he’d scored it himself. Top bloke, and while my attitude to Germany’s team has softened since their entertaining run in the World Cup 2 years ago, I was not sorry that he got such a great result.
Having said that Germany are beginning to tick the boxes required of an England surrogate; heroic failure in the World Cup, unexpectedly beaten up by Croatia with a combination of dodgy left-back defending and an unlucky (although not to say hilarious) conceding of a late goal, good save initially though it was from Lehmann. They even play in white shirts and have a Rooney-type in Schweinsteiger – Rooney-esque not in footballing ability, although he did fairly well when he came on, but in displaying the sort of petulant action that gets you sent off in important games to leave your team in the swill, England or what! Next thing you know, they’ll miss a penalty or two.
So Croatia join Portugal in the quarters and leave Germany needing something from their game against Austria on Monday in Vienna.
The Austrians will be hoping Herr Webb will be in charge of that game, after one-half of England’s pair of representatives in Euro2008 last night gifted the co-hosts and organisers a lifeline. The decision hardly merits the “controversial” tag pinned to it in many of the media’s reports today, Lewandowski’s attempt at three-falls-and-a-submission was, after all nailed-on. The only controversial thing is that, given the UEFA instructions at the beginning of the tournament, more referees haven’t done the same; as Lawro said “if you don’t pull his shirt he doesn’t give a penalty”.
Poland’s sour grapes will not cut much ice in this direction and, by all accounts, (I was running around a sports hall while the game was on) Austria probably deserved a draw having spurned several chances and had another penalty appeal waved away earlier on. It was amusing though to study the Austrian faces as the whistle blew for the penalty, to a man they assumed Howard had penalised one of their own and were ready to accost him Terry-like until they realised he was pointing to the spot. I wonder how much of the free-beer awarded to Vastic will be sitting on Howard Webb’s doorstep when he returns.
It may be that, like me, he remembers hiding behind the settee as a youngster back in ’73, listening as his father swore at the Clown Tomaszewski, and thought “Now, I will have my revenge Poland, take that, kapow!! thwack!! “. Now all he has to do is to get himself picked for the Germany game and pay them back for Mexico ’70, Wembley ’72, Spain ’82, Italia ’90 and England ‘96

Perhaps swayed by the thought that beating England would make Croatia invincible, five of you correctly picked the result, although only Dave could get the score right.
Picking the draw in the other game was more straight-forward as 8 people got maximum points and also owe Spiders a pint or two.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Lake. . .err . . . Basle

Portugal 3 – 1 Czech Republic
Switzerland 1 – 2 Turkey
Talking to my son during the first game yesterday, I was just beginning the sentence “Ronaldo’s having a stinker today, eh mate?” when up he pops to score one and set up another so I quickly changed it to “Ronaldo’s on fire again, eh mate?” – it doesn’t do for a son to think his father and coach can’t read a game. But the truth was he was having a stinker and so too the rest of his mates, after Deco scrambled the ball home to go one-up early doors (it always helps to get in cliché’s with a 9 year old as well), and if you didn’t know better you’d think that they were preoccupied with the prospect of losing, say, their manager.


Perhaps the news had already been broken to them and perhaps also some of the Real boys now thought that CR would be alighting at West London on his journey South from Manchester come July. Any road up they weren’t thinking that they had to defend corners clearly. But in the event what is now Gene Hackman’s swansong will continue into the knockout stages as Portugal duly qualified for the quarters as group winners.
This result together with Turkey’s win means that someone must win when they meet Czech Republic on Sunday. The two are locked together on points and goal difference, and as the other criteria to split teams is head-to-head record, a draw will be inconclusive. I’m just going to look-up what happens in this event . . .nope nothing on the official website, but if it’s anything like the rules for the qualifying group then it could come down to UEFA’s favourite “Fair Play” (as in “Fair Play, Czech Republic is in Europe and Turkey isn’t”, or “Fair Play, Turkey did give Michel Platini a free condo overlooking the Bosporus”) or flipping a coin.

Turkey and Switzerland splashed about in Basle, which was a shame because had the venues for last night’s games been reversed then I could have woven in some comments about “Lake” Geneva. I’m no expert but even if Basle has a lake it’s not as famous as the one in Geneva so “smart arse writing” value is nil as far as I’m concerned. This probably wasn’t a fixture that to excite you at first glance, but the conditions soon made it probably the best match of the tournament for me. The thoroughly miserable looks on the Turks faces as their shirts soon became transparent were trumped only by their demeanour when one of their own, Hakan Yakin, scored. Yakin, who had been offered Turkish nationality in 2000, was unsure how to react to his tap-in, starting to wheel-away before thinking better of it and all at the same time, trying to look humble and respectful and happy and failing.
The Swiss thought their day had come as Turkey’s game plan was sunk (geddit?) without trace in the first half. Yakin should have made it two before the break but in a fit of sympathy missed ugly in front of an open goal.
The second half saw Turkey surface (geddit?) again with renewed purpose and if their was a smile on the face of Turkey’s coach it was because in the dressing room as the players dried themselves, he had found a Semih in his pocket and it was the substitute who headed their equalizer soon after the restart. A draw suited neither and as the conditions eased it was Turkey who could knock the ball about and probably deserved to stab the Swiss through the heart with a winner in time-added.




Ricardo checks his deodorant rather than the position of the ball






Not many points around in the PAS race last night, the exceptions being Jayne and Ann who snaffled a maximum each. As a result Jayne is now on top with Liam and Butch finds his natural position in the football world.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Greek Dogs

Spain 4 – 1 Russia
Greece 0 – 2 Sweden


In a curious echo of World Cup 2006, Spain scored 4 in their tournament opener last night. Chelsea/Spurs target David Villa was on the score sheet twice back then and bettered it with a hat-trick in the Innsbruk rain.
With the game so completely won, the second half, after the expected initial Russian offensive, turned into a training session for both teams, pretty much as it did with Ukraine two years ago. I only mention the similarities because now, as then, everyone drooled over the Spanish flat-track bullies and predicted them to go all the way. Some of us knew better and even after eight goals in three group victories, they were undone by Ribery, Vieira and Zidane when the going got tougher. It is perhaps paella for thought when you come to predict the knockout stage of this tournament as they could meet again. Having said all that they did look pretty good and more than once I was found to be thankful that England had not qualified.

I worried for Russia’s future in this group, right up until I watched the second game of the day featuring Greece and Sweden. It started-off brightly enough, but very soon memories of four years ago came flooding back as I realised that there cannot be an equivalent for the “Beautiful Game” in the Greek language. Towards the end of the first-half I swear I saw Ray Wilkins in the Greek back-four.
That an average side like Sweden can look like the Harlem Globetrotters of the global game says much for this Greek tragedy. The only consolation, apart from perhaps that their keeper George Clooney looked more than four years older, is that they surely won’t qualify with games against Spain and Russia coming up.
You also wonder about Sweden, whose best player I thought was, worringly, Grandad Henrik Larsson, if and when they reach the business end of the competition.


The pyre on which Greek football was burnt is reflected in the sky last night







In the PAS there were, not surprisingly, lots of you who got the point for a Spanish victory but no bonuses for the correct score.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Well I'll be a Dutchman

Romania dull - dull France
Holland 3 - 0 Italy
Would you believe me if I said that nobody predicted that one? No? thought not and only three people gave the Dutch a prayer in a match that gave ITV's Clive Tyledesley the opportunity to warm up his hyperbolae if not bringing it quite to boiling point.While Italy practiced their falling over they took their eye off the linesman who, unconfirmed reports related, was seen covering his orange shirt with his hi-vis bib just before the game. As Van Nistelrooy wheeled away, I swear he was saying "If that was offside, I'm a Dutchman". Perhaps it was, in a perverse way, the officials' way of rewarding the Red-Devils reject for not tumbling like a swiss-lock a few minutes earlier when he kicked Buffoon in the back, in the area.Nothing wrong with the second goal though, and it reminded me of a similar goal I scored once, memory is hazy but I definitely remember that at the end of that game I walked up the steps at Wembley to collect the World Cup and a snog from Julia Roberts, and it was at that point that the cure for all known diseases, a solution to world poverty and the idea for a neat bag-less household cleaning device entered my mind, edging out the answer to the square root of minus-one which had also popped into my mind a second earlier (I'll concede that there is a slight chance that this was a dream however.) The third was pretty good as well, if helped though by the slowest Italian retreat so far recorded.
Not sure that CT was entirely with us though as he described these as "two of the best breakaway goals ever seen"; is there such a category in international football? What next, "the best backside goal ever seen?", "the best blue-booted goal ever seen?" or perhaps "the best aided-by-a-blind-linesman goal ever seen?"While CT was exhorting us to feel sorry for the Italians who had "done nothing wrong tonight", apart maybe from shipping 3 goals to a team apparently kept together with duct-tape, I was remembering a pointed comment or two about the Italian, Camoranesi I made two years ago (see http://www.dmtpaswc2006.blogspot.com ); perhaps I was therefore looking out for him, but the "pointless one" was at it again last night, whining and diving and running so often laterally I could be forgiven for thinking that they'd put the goals on the touchline and were playing mini-soccer. I was, I have to admit, impressed though, when tapped on the ankle he managed a passable imitation of the hornpipe; three complete turns who judging by his face was in a great deal of pain.



Camoranesi realising yet again he won't be winning "Italy's Got Talent"











Not that we need an excuse, but picking him did help to bring a smile to one’s face as the final whistle went and their night was summed up by the camera focussing on an Italian who having mis-controlled the ball in the final third, slipped and fell on his arse – you gotta love it

I quite liked also, the shot of a couple of Italian fans, who having seen that they were on the big screens started to laugh and wave, before the dawning realisation broke upon them that the whole of Italy was watching them smiling while their team was having their collective noses rubbed in the goo. Priceless.

In the other game, as I predicted, Romania proved to be far from the whipping-boys of the GoD as they held, notoriously slow-starters France to a bore-draw. Which result, together with the Dutch victory, makes a carve-up between two of the three "big" teams a bit more difficult to engineer - not that they would be thinking that way, oh dear me no.

So with points almost as rare as Italian smiles, Tony was the biggest riser having picked the bore-draw correctly. Liam picked up a point to move clear at the top of Trudy and Rupert who continue to wrestle with each other but should be mindful of Colin and Russel coming up behind.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Off we go then

Switzerland 0-1 Czech Republic
Portugal 2-0 England, sorry . .Turkey
For a minute there on Saturday afternoon, well several minutes actually, actually 90 minutes, as I sat watching the opening match between Switzerland and Czech Republic, I was stiff with horror, frozen with fear, tight with terror. Could it be that, with the entire three weeks stretching out in front of me, with thousands of words to blog, I was bored with football; had I, in the words of my wife, had enough? Was there really stuff out there not connected with the round bouncy thing? Well yes, for those 90-odd minutes I was bored, there was more out there. Of course I wasn't going to go looking for it, so there I sat, as nothing better than a Championship match played out before me.

Before long I was counting the alice-bands on show (four, all CZE), crew-cuts (lost count, all CHE), scrum-caps (one). I gather it was 1-0 to the ones in what I thought was the neat kit.
So on to Portugal and Turkey. In the spirit of transferred allegiances currently being propagated by the Beeb for this tournament, I had to choose which to cheer for. Difficult to call this one as on the one hand we have the Turks, part of Europe? difficult to square that one, and on the other a team with some fantastically-gifted footballers who insist on spending most of their matches falling over. In the end I plumped for the Turks on the basis that they had the only Englishman on show in the competition, Kazim-Richards. Inevitably this decision went the way of most of my picks as not only did the Brazilian-speakers dominate, but two of "my" team were guilty of the most blatant acts of simulation; Tuncay's first-half effort was probably the better of the two I decided.
Of course Ronaldo and his mates were quicker taking to the floor than your Aunt at a wedding, but inbetween did play some pretty stuff and had a couple of goals to see them top the group. The token English bloke did us proud and I thought, out-Ronaldo'd Ronaldo which I thought was kinda neat; until he spoilt it in the post-match interview when asked whose shirt he had bagged, he simpered "Ronaldo's - he's the best player in the world". Get a room for chrissakes.

Austria 0-1 Croatia
Germany 2-0 Poland

Can’t say as I was too impressed with the Austria/Croatia game, but then if I’m honest I can’t say anything at all because I didn’t watch it. I know, I know but I was in a better place despite missing the “Mad Dog” Pogatetz “virtually assaulting” Olic after 30 minutes. Apparently this was the highlight from a game in which England’s nemesis struggled to beat a side ranked 92nd in the world; still wish we were there?
Germany on the hand strolled past the side I like to refer to as “taxi 4” following their Ill-judged comments after qualifying behind, let it not be forgotten, England for WC2006. Yep I can hold a grudge with the best of them and I will take some considerable joy from what is likely to be an early exit for the “wouldn’t touch them with a barge” Poles. Of course their inevitable and fated defeat was at the hands of the Germans. It’s an odd-feeling, that started for your correspondent in the semi-finals two years ago, to have an albeit grudging, admiration for them, but as there is no possibility of sticking more penalties away in a game against England this time around, I’ll say it – they play some decent football. Also they do have a comic figure in Schweinsteiger who clearly thinks that all the things his mother says to him about his ability are true, despite the evidence to the contrary. You’d think someone with a heart would tell him to tone the hair down a notch so as not to draw attention to himself, but that just adds to the fun of him I guess.

So on today to the group of death, the prize for winning which will almost certainly be a meeting with either Germany or Portugal in the final. I’m guessing there were no French, Italian or Dutch involved in the decision to have a drawn schedule.

In the Predict-a-Score competition, debutant Liam had a good weekend and is tied at the top with old-stagers Rupert and Trudy while Uwe's elation at last night’s result will be tempered in the cold light of day when he realises that he’s strongest only insofar as he’s holding the rest of you up.