Off we go then

Switzerland 0-1 Czech Republic
Portugal 2-0 England, sorry . .Turkey
For a minute there on Saturday afternoon, well several minutes actually, actually 90 minutes, as I sat watching the opening match between Switzerland and Czech Republic, I was stiff with horror, frozen with fear, tight with terror. Could it be that, with the entire three weeks stretching out in front of me, with thousands of words to blog, I was bored with football; had I, in the words of my wife, had enough? Was there really stuff out there not connected with the round bouncy thing? Well yes, for those 90-odd minutes I was bored, there was more out there. Of course I wasn't going to go looking for it, so there I sat, as nothing better than a Championship match played out before me.
Before long I was counting the alice-bands on show (four, all CZE), crew-cuts (lost count, all CHE), scrum-caps (one). I gather it was 1-0 to the ones in what I thought was the neat kit.
So on to Portugal and Turkey. In the spirit of transferred allegiances currently being propagated by the Beeb for this tournament, I had to choose which to cheer for. Difficult to call this one as on the one hand we have the Turks, part of Europe? difficult to square that one, and on the other a team with some fantastically-gifted footballers who insist on spending most of their matches falling over. In the end I plumped for the Turks on the basis that they had the only Englishman on show in the competition, Kazim-Richards. Inevitably this decision went the way of most of my picks as not only did the Brazilian-speakers dominate, but two of "my" team were guilty of the most blatant acts of simulation; Tuncay's first-half effort was probably the better of the two I decided.
Of course Ronaldo and his mates were quicker taking to the floor than your Aunt at a wedding, but inbetween did play some pretty stuff and had a couple of goals to see them top the group. The token English bloke did us proud and I thought, out-Ronaldo'd Ronaldo which I thought was kinda neat; until he spoilt it in the post-match interview when asked whose shirt he had bagged, he simpered "Ronaldo's - he's the best player in the world". Get a room for chrissakes.

Austria 0-1 Croatia
Germany 2-0 Poland
Can’t say as I was too impressed with the Austria/Croatia game, but then if I’m honest I can’t say anything at all because I didn’t watch it. I know, I know but I was in a better place despite missing the “Mad Dog” Pogatetz “virtually assaulting” Olic after 30 minutes. Apparently this was the highlight from a game in which England’s nemesis struggled to beat a side ranked 92nd in the world; still wish we were there?
Germany on the hand strolled past the side I like to refer to as “taxi 4” following their Ill-judged comments after qualifying behind, let it not be forgotten, England for WC2006. Yep I can hold a grudge with the best of them and I will take some considerable joy from what is likely to be an early exit for the “wouldn’t touch them with a barge” Poles. Of course their inevitable and fated defeat was at the hands of the Germans. It’s an odd-feeling, that started for your correspondent in the semi-finals two years ago, to have an albeit grudging, admiration for them, but as there is no possibility of sticking more penalties away in a game against England this time around, I’ll say it – they play some decent football. Also they do have a comic figure in Schweinsteiger who clearly thinks that all the things his mother says to him about his ability are true, despite the evidence to the contrary. You’d think someone with a heart would tell him to tone the hair down a notch so as not to draw attention to himself, but that just adds to the fun of him I guess.

So on today to the group of death, the prize for winning which will almost certainly be a meeting with either Germany or Portugal in the final. I’m guessing there were no French, Italian or Dutch involved in the decision to have a drawn schedule.
In the Predict-a-Score competition, debutant Liam had a good weekend and is tied at the top with old-stagers Rupert and Trudy while Uwe's elation at last night’s result will be tempered in the cold light of day when he realises that he’s strongest only insofar as he’s holding the rest of you up.