Holland 3 - 0 Italy
Would you believe me if I said that nobody predicted that one? No? thought not and only three people gave the Dutch a prayer in a match that gave ITV's Clive Tyledesley the opportunity to warm up his hyperbolae if not bringing it quite to boiling point.While Italy practiced their falling over they took their eye off the linesman who, unconfirmed reports related, was seen covering his orange shirt with his hi-vis bib just before the game. As Van Nistelrooy wheeled away, I swear he was saying "If that was offside, I'm a Dutchman". Perhaps it was, in a perverse way, the officials' way of rewarding the Red-Devils reject for not tumbling like a swiss-lock a few minutes earlier when he kicked Buffoon in the back, in the area.Nothing wrong with the second goal though, and it reminded me of a similar goal I scored once, memory is hazy but I definitely remember that at the end of that game I walked up the steps at Wembley to collect the World Cup and a snog from Julia Roberts, and it was at that point that the cure for all known diseases, a solution to world poverty and the idea for a neat bag-less household cleaning device entered my mind, edging out the answer to the square root of minus-one which had also popped into my mind a second earlier (I'll concede that there is a slight chance that this was a dream however.) The third was pretty good as well, if helped though by the slowest Italian retreat so far recorded.
Not sure that CT was entirely with us though as he described these as "two of the best breakaway goals ever seen"; is there such a category in international football? What next, "the best backside goal ever seen?", "the best blue-booted goal ever seen?" or perhaps "the best aided-by-a-blind-linesman goal ever seen?"While CT was exhorting us to feel sorry for the Italians who had "done nothing wrong tonight", apart maybe from shipping 3 goals to a team apparently kept together with duct-tape, I was remembering a pointed comment or two about the Italian, Camoranesi I made two years ago (see http://www.dmtpaswc2006.blogspot.com ); perhaps I was therefore looking out for him, but the "pointless one" was at it again last night, whining and diving and running so often laterally I could be forgiven for thinking that they'd put the goals on the touchline and were playing mini-soccer. I was, I have to admit, impressed though, when tapped on the ankle he managed a passable imitation of the hornpipe; three complete turns who judging by his face was in a great deal of pain.
Camoranesi realising yet again he won't be winning "Italy's Got Talent"
Not that we need an excuse, but picking him did help to bring a smile to one’s face as the final whistle went and their night was summed up by the camera focussing on an Italian who having mis-controlled the ball in the final third, slipped and fell on his arse – you gotta love it
I quite liked also, the shot of a couple of Italian fans, who having seen that they were on the big screens started to laugh and wave, before the dawning realisation broke upon them that the whole of Italy was watching them smiling while their team was having their collective noses rubbed in the goo. Priceless.
In the other game, as I predicted, Romania proved to be far from the whipping-boys of the GoD as they held, notoriously slow-starters France to a bore-draw. Which result, together with the Dutch victory, makes a carve-up between two of the three "big" teams a bit more difficult to engineer - not that they would be thinking that way, oh dear me no.
So with points almost as rare as Italian smiles, Tony was the biggest riser having picked the bore-draw correctly. Liam picked up a point to move clear at the top of Trudy and Rupert who continue to wrestle with each other but should be mindful of Colin and Russel coming up behind.
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